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How to Use the 4 Skills to be Powerful in Getting What You Want & What the Other Wants!!!

Power & Influence - there are two forms of power: One is power in getting what you want through physical strength, force, coercion, authority, threat, fear, guilt, shame, obligation or manipulation. The other form of power is the ability to get what you want through the use of influence without dependence upon the other & not at the expense of the other.


Dependence, Independence & Interdependence: When we make choices that include dependence we are placing our power in the hands of another, "I am not getting what I want & you are responsible!" This is a weak position & often includes blame, resentment or avoidance of responsibility.

When we make choices that are independent we are effectively saying, "Here's what I want & I'm going to get it & I don't care about what you want!" Disregarding the other!

When we make choices based on interdependence we are saying, "Here's what I want - What do you want? How do we both get what we want? When you get what you want - I get what I want." The result is synergy!

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